This tag is associated with 41 posts

The Week in Politics

MAKING HISTORY Everything you need to know about last week’s politics for this week’s cocktail party. History was made and celebrated this week and we’re going to tell you the important parts. First, there was panic this week in Los Angeles, causing residents to flood 911 switchboards in record-setting numbers. It was due to a … Continue reading

A Nazi Grows in Alabama

These days, does anyone care if a quote is taken out of context? Not really, it seems. Certainly not the media that this week ran with the headline “Gwyneth Paltrow thinks water has feelings!” when the actress/lifestyle guru attempted to paraphrase the work of a Japanese author she admires. Other, more damaging examples: Barack Obama‚Äôs … Continue reading

Ellen the De Generate

If, like us, you are the beneficiary of a primary Catholic school education, you may have some interesting memories of all the things you got from those nuns. Like raps on the knuckles. Curt, abbreviated classes in “science.” Lessons for boys in how to pee without using your hands! Once, as punishment for giving the … Continue reading

How to Rebrand the KKK

Racists in America never seem to tire of trying to outdo one another. The ink was barely dry on the story of the white supremacist — whose alleged shooting rampage at two Jewish institutions in Kansas was followed by a cry of “Heil Hitler!” — when we were treated to the psycho rants of everyone’s … Continue reading

The Second Coming of Homeless Jesus

A couple of weeks ago, we told you about some of the unbelievably heartless ways some American communities have been dealing with homeless people: from making it illegal to give them blankets on cold nights to letting cops knock the free, church-donated hot dogs out of their cold, near-dead and greedy hands. (Really!) The stories … Continue reading

The Worst Little Town in America

Have you ever wondered how corrupt a place would have to be to compel an awesome power to swoop in and just wipe it off the face of the earth? No, this is not a review of “Noah.” We’re talking about the tiny rural city of Hampton, Florida in the heart of conservative America. As … Continue reading

Steaks, Guns and God

Aeons ago, when your faithful, intrepid reporters Lester & Charlie were wee lads, we asked the nuns in charge of us at school: Does God have a sense of humor? Those nuns, not ones to be out-sassed by sassy toddlers, were prepared with an answer. After the obligatory, “Of course he does. He made you, … Continue reading

Christian Shingles!

Is there anything regular people do that Christians can’t do better? Not to be outdone one-upping Wikipedia with the fact-stripped and fantastic Conservapedia (must be seen to be believed), now they’ve bested social media with a right-wing Twitter aggregation site called Twitchy, which just sold for an undisclosed amount to a Christian radio conglomerate with … Continue reading

The Week in Politics

The Week in Politics We all learned this week that Barack Obama really is a Kenyan Satanist because his new website has almost as many bugs and crashes as, say, those other embarrassing URLs like Facebook and Twitter – which the world also gave up on the first time there was a glitch. Meanwhile, those … Continue reading

The Week in Politics

Turdy Logic Worshipers in Fresno, California have been flocking to a Crape Myrtle tree outside of St. John’s Cathedral. Apparently, when someone screams “glory be to God in Jesus’ name” at the tree it starts weeping tears and spraying water. The only possible explanation is that this liquid is miraculous, and everybody knows that miraculous … Continue reading

The Week in Politics

Dumpster Diving If you take the estimated amount of currency in the U.S., Asia and Europe, and then round it up to the nearest hundred billion (to account for the fact that a lot of nations don’t actually know how much money is in their country), and then turn it all into U.S. dollars, you’ll … Continue reading

Aunt Betty’s Almanac: On Faith

“God hasn’t always been good to me, but She’s been a Hell of lot more patient than Bank of America.”