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Red States

This tag is associated with 57 posts

Flying Dildos

Chances are there’s a conservative politician under your bed or on your favorite news show screaming that sex, and the sex industry, are the cause of moral decay. Why? In April, reporters jumped all over GOP loser Ted Cruz’s vehemently anti-dildo and anti-masturbation track record from back when he was solicitor general in Texas. The … Continue reading

The B*tt Plug Stops Here

Media jump on the opportunity to report about politicians and their proclivity to invade our bedrooms and tell us that sex and the sex industry cause moral decay. So in April reporters jumped all over Ted Cruz’s vehemently anti-dildo and anti-masturbation track record from back when he was solicitor general in Texas. The reports positioned … Continue reading

Homeless Jesus

This month, a study came out from Stanford University with a conclusion that shocked its own researchers: Low-income people live longer and healthier lives when they live in affluent areas like New York or San Francisco. This is shocking because it’s counter intuitive. If you live in an affluent place like New York or San … Continue reading

What the Hell is Bible Math?

According to the National Center for Education Statistics, there are approximately 57 million American kids in elementary schools. Shooters have killed 0.00012% of them in the last three years. But during that same time, 0.011% of other kids have been taught Bible math; 0.26% of them have been sent to jail and 9% of them … Continue reading

A Must Read on Martin Luther King, Jr. Day

Each year on Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, we ask you to find time to read this powerful letter that captures a moment of history and still rings true today. Prison Desk Martin Luther King, Jr., 1963 My Dear Fellow Clergymen: While confined here in the Birmingham city jail, I came across your recent statement … Continue reading

Is the New AP Test Really Too Liberal?

So much talk lately about who or what is patriotic. Mostly because “America’s Mayor” Rudy Giuliani had the nerve this week to say Barack Obama lacked love for America in general and for Giuliani in particular. (As “creepy vs. offensive” stand-offs go, we’re declaring this one a draw.) Giuliani’s statement was at an event run … Continue reading

Are You Prepared for Alabama’s School Safety Plan?

It wasn’t that long ago that we brought you the shocker story from Alabama that school officials there put a 5-year-old girl on suicide and homicide watch after she pointed her crayon at another student and made a small gun noise. Alabama schools want you to be sure that your kids are safe! But it’s … Continue reading

Dildos for Texas

Texas became the 28th state this week in 1845! Happy Anniversary, Texas – the one place where it’s against the law to own too many dildos, but you can vote for as many as you want. BONUS TRACK: Molly Ivins’ Dildo Diaries ***

The Week in Politics

WAITING FOR THE THIRD DOT Everything you need to know about last week’s politics for this week’s cocktail party. They say it takes “three points on a graph” to spot a trend. For example, if you spent $2 for a beer yesterday and $5 on a beer today and put that on a graph, it … Continue reading

Are You More Homicidal Than This Alabama 5 Year Old?

“Mommy? Daddy? What is homicide?” This week, school officials in Alabama put a 5-year-old girl on a suicide and homicide watch after she pointed a crayon at a kindergarten classmate and said “pew! pew!” Yes, this is real. The 5-year-old, identified only as Elizabeth, is said to have drawn a picture resembling a gun before … Continue reading

The Week in Politics

TRIGGER WARNING! Everything you need to know about last week’s politics for this week’s cocktail party. To explain this week’s lesson on politics, we first need to address “trigger warnings.” This is when websites warn you that an article you’re about to click on might send you into trauma or a psychotic break because it … Continue reading

The Week in Politics

KNOCK KNOCK Everything you need to know about last week’s politics for this week’s cocktail party. The most important thing we learned about politics last week is that, in Quitman, Georgia, it’s illegal for chickens to cross the road.   *** Get Lester & Charlie’s New Book Today! ***

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