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Money

This tag is associated with 86 posts

Canned Shit

From our correspondent in Milano — apparently, America is exporting its shit internationally. And even Italy can’t sell people on it. “Are you a politician or does lying just run in your family?” ― Fannie Flagg     Advertisements

Anal Visitors

According to The Kansas City Star, hotel and motel tourist revenue has gone up $73 million. Continue reading

Ready for “Laugh and Get Rich Day”?

Mix all this together. DACA is equal to $28 billion in your checking and savings account. CHIP is your $17 billion medical bill. You still have $11 billion in your piggy bank after you pay the medical bill, and that’s enough to pay for the first few inches of Trump’s wall. Continue reading

Is Trump Screwing With Your B.I.S.?

Perhaps your doctor hasn’t mentioned it, but you have Behavioral Immune Syndrome (BIS). And so does everyone else, and so do most animals on Earth, and BIS can lead to deadly consequences. Continue reading

Voters’ Remorse?

              I got some animal crackers and the box said ‘Do not eat if seal is broken.’ So I opened up the box, and sure enough…” ~Brian Kiley   ***

Oh, right. Happy Inauguration Day.

“Chief among the forces affecting political folly is lust for power, named by Tacitus as “the most flagrant of all passions.” “No one is so sure of his premises as the man who knows too little.” “Government was rarely more than a choice between the disastrous and the unpalatable.” “A phenomenon noticeable throughout history regardless … Continue reading

Flying Dildos

Chances are there’s a conservative politician under your bed or on your favorite news show screaming that sex, and the sex industry, are the cause of moral decay. Why? In April, reporters jumped all over GOP loser Ted Cruz’s vehemently anti-dildo and anti-masturbation track record from back when he was solicitor general in Texas. The … Continue reading

The B*tt Plug Stops Here

Media jump on the opportunity to report about politicians and their proclivity to invade our bedrooms and tell us that sex and the sex industry cause moral decay. So in April reporters jumped all over Ted Cruz’s vehemently anti-dildo and anti-masturbation track record from back when he was solicitor general in Texas. The reports positioned … Continue reading

Homeless Jesus

This month, a study came out from Stanford University with a conclusion that shocked its own researchers: Low-income people live longer and healthier lives when they live in affluent areas like New York or San Francisco. This is shocking because it’s counter intuitive. If you live in an affluent place like New York or San … Continue reading

Pull Up A Chair, Kids

It seems we can’t get through a decade without at least once having former New York City mayor Michael Bloomberg remind us that, as a billionaire, he’s as entitled as anyone to buy the presidency of the United States. And here he is again, declaring that he’s two thinks from declaring candidacy and riding to … Continue reading

In Observance of “National War on Poverty Day, 2016”

    “Anyone who has ever struggled with poverty knows how extremely expensive it is to be poor.”  ~James Baldwin                 From Hunger in America: 2015 United States Hunger and Poverty Facts Hunger in the United States Six  years after the onset of the financial and economic crisis, … Continue reading

Lotteries Can Be Dangerous to Your Health

State lotteries can be bad for your health. At least, they can be – if you win. No, seriously. According to the experts, people who experience “sudden financial windfalls” can ultimately expect to feel anxiety, depression, anger, distrust, lack of identity and a sense of loss. Whoa. We all like to think that a fat … Continue reading

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