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Bloody Mary

Big business has a big mouth these days, but what comes out isn’t always pleasant. Chick-fil-A hates gays. Hobby Lobby has its panties in a knot over contraception. Taco Bell fires managers for hiring too many Mexicans. It doesn’t seem to end. Then we read about the firestorm surrounding Mary’s Gourmet Diner, a restaurant in … Continue reading

Kiddie Target Practice

“Won’t someone please think of the children?” We’d like to think somebody is thinking about the children, but for the right reasons. For example, one distracting hot button today is the potential advertising of legalized marijuana, which is probably the least of the worries that we should have about kids who are supposed to be … Continue reading

Betcha By Golly Wow!

By now, surely you’ve heard the awesome news that Sarah Palin launched her own subscription-based online network — The Sarah Palin Channel — where everyone’s favorite half-wit can reach her huddled masses directly and bypass those pesky “politically correct” media filters. And it’s only $9.95 a month! When we heard the news about PalinTV we … Continue reading

The Lying Nun

Have you ever secretly wanted to be a fly on the wall at a GOP fundraiser? No? Why not? Liberal infiltration at private events is what got us Mitt Romney’s infamous comments about the “47%” and, more recently, Republican Congresswoman Renee Ellmers’ comments that Republicans can reach those elusive lady voters as soon as they … Continue reading

To Beep or Not to Beep

Conservatives are always outraged about something. A few weeks ago, we told you about the right-wing umbrage being tossed around — not because of Obamacare – but because of good old comic books. Well, for the conservative Comic-Con set, it’s getting worse. Conservative comic book writers have already complained that illustrated heroes have become too … Continue reading

Don’t Look at New York in That Tone of Voice

  New Yorkers may not have the best reputation, but there’s no denying that we got the smarts to somehow keep this “ungovernable city” humming. That can generate some resentment. Here’s an example: In 2009, Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, an Iraqi citizen held prisoner at a US-controlled detention facility in Iraq, was released by the Iraqi … Continue reading

Holy Vast Liberal Perfidy, Batman!

The political world is reeling from the whopping KAPOW! that GOP House Majority Leader Eric Cantor just got from a Tea-Party insurgent in the Virginia primary. How could this happen? How could one of the most powerful conservative jokers in Washington suddenly find himself without a job? Was Cantor “too calculating“? “Ambitious”? “Disconnected”? Well, don’t … Continue reading

A Nazi Grows in Alabama

These days, does anyone care if a quote is taken out of context? Not really, it seems. Certainly not the media that this week ran with the headline “Gwyneth Paltrow thinks water has feelings!” when the actress/lifestyle guru attempted to paraphrase the work of a Japanese author she admires. Other, more damaging examples: Barack Obama’s … Continue reading

Ellen the De Generate

If, like us, you are the beneficiary of a primary Catholic school education, you may have some interesting memories of all the things you got from those nuns. Like raps on the knuckles. Curt, abbreviated classes in “science.” Lessons for boys in how to pee without using your hands! Once, as punishment for giving the … Continue reading

Why the Devil Can’t Go Down on Georgia

We all know that conservatives are obsessed with two things: Sex and the wisdom of the states! That’s why we keep ending up with such titillating local legislation. Down in Mississippi, it’s illegal to even talk about polygamy. Visiting Oklahoma? Don’t even think of having simulated animal sex in a bar. In Ohio, it’s illegal … Continue reading

How Science Just Proved That Life Sucks

If, like us, you’ve been poking around second-hand furniture stores looking for just the right rocking chair from which to gripe about “kids today” and how everything is going to hell, we’ve got some good news for you: Science is on your side! See, it turns out that scholars at the Spanish National Research Council … Continue reading

Sex Cells in Nevada

  A few weeks ago, we told you about the insane things going on in Mississippi schools — where teachers are complying with a law requiring sexual education by teaching girls that “anyone who has sex before marriage is no better than a used piece of chocolate.” Yuck. What could be worse than that? Well, … Continue reading

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