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The Week in Politics

CRIME AND PUNISHMENT

Everything you need to know about last week’s politics for this week’s cocktail party.

Gun-in-pocket

More evidence came in this week that guns are a man’s best friend. On June 12th, a man from the alternate universe known as Macon, Georgia was at a gas station when he decided he ought to holster his gun. And it went off. So he did what anyone would do and drove to his friend’s house, where the friend immediately took off the guy’s pants.

According to reports, it was then that they both happened to notice that the guy had “shot himself in the penis and that the bullet exited out of his buttocks.” Fortunately, there was no grade school tucked into his ass.

purse-snatcher-surveillance

Over in Oakland, California, KTVU newshound Heather Holmes was doing a live report in front of a police station for the ten o’clock news. The segment was about Good Samaritans who came to the rescue of another woman who was brutally beaten and robbed. During the live segment, someone ran into the nearby KTVU news van and snatched Heather’s purse.

Within 20 minutes after the purse snatching, according to Heather’s bank card records, the thief had used her card at a nearby gas station. One has to wonder if the thief had a gun.

 

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