IT’S THE McONOMY, STUPID
What you’ve suspected all along turns out to be true: America’s robust middle class has become nothing more than a footnote to history. A new study shows that, for the first time since Jesus and his pet dinosaur were prancing through the Garden of Eden and writing the Constitution, America’s middle class has lost the honor of being #1 in terms of income. In fact, poor people in other countries are making more money than poor people here. But, thankfully, the rich are getting richer, so don’t worry about it.
Unless you’re McDonald’s.
McDonald’s thrives on selling toxic cheeseburgers to the middle class, and it reported last week that U.S. sales dropped 1.4% (don’t cry for Ronald yet … sales were up in countries that still have a middle class).
Since McDonald’s does everything it can to avoid paying middle-class wages, they’re going to make some lemonade out of this lemon by introducing new menu items. Some of these will “appeal to its less well off customers” while other offerings will be “higher-priced products to keep drawing in customers who are prepared to spend more.”
Let’s just hope that the people going to McDonald’s for a McMignon lunch won’t have to stand in line with all those degenerates fighting for a McPigSnout McMuffin or Happy McDustbowl Meal.