Letters to the Mayor, Part 1: “I’m Stupid”


Lester & Charlie have worked with some of the most influential American political figures of our era. Not kidding. Don’t believe us? Just look around at the state of politics.

Anyway, our non-disclosure agreements are expiring. So we’re going to bring you some of our favorite letters written to nationally recognized political figures.

We’re keeping the important names out of it to protect the guilty.

Here’s letter #1: “The Bridge!”

Please forgive me for writing to you regarding the STUPID, STUPID, STUPID, thing I did.

I’m not going to bore you with details – just the facts:

I was on the Garden State Parkway and encountered a situation that I think I took the wrong road. I thought the toll booths to the right were an Exit off the Parkway and I knew I was real close to the end of the Parkway which would bring me over the Tampanzee Bridge into New York. Since it was unclear, I went straight continuing on the Parkway. I was so upset because as I moved along, I realized that all the cars that had gone through the toll booths were joining me. At any rate….I was so upset, I decided to write to Senator Clinton and Governor Bloomberg.

I know..I know….it gets worse. I sent it certified!

Then about a week later I was having a sleepless night, tossing and turning, and my mind going in a thousand directions when it hit me like a lightening bolt!!!! I wasn’t in New York when this happened; I was in NEW JERSEY!!!!

So, again, I sit down and write letters to Sen. Clinton and Gov. Bloomberg…I know…I know….I told you it gets worse. I apologize for my stupidity and tell them that I am forwarding all the correspondence to the rightful “man in charge” – if you will….Gov. Corzine (I think that’s the spelling)

Well here I am again…AGAIN…I say….last night (another tosser/turner) it came to me that I had elevated Mayor Bloomberg to Governor Bloomberg!!!!! Please let me apologize once again. Thank you for your time and patience with this foolish state of events.

PS I leave you with a quote from Robert Frost…”I am not confused; I’m just well mixed”


“I well understand why analysts demand high payment, for what can be more tedious than listening to another person recount his dreams?”
― Truman Capote, Answered Prayers – The Unfinished Novel


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