Say what you want about 2013. But before you dismiss it, cranky style, for being as lousy as any other year you didn’t get everything you wanted from Santa, try to remember the few good things that happened in the last twelve months. Michele Bachmann announced her retirement from Congress. There was no U.S. presidential election. Obamacare (so far) survived Sarah Palin’s death panels. Harold Camping died.
Wait! About that last one: Before you dismiss us as evil for celebrating the death of anyone not named Margaret Thatcher, recall just who Harold Camping was. Camping was the jackass Christian religious leader who made buckets of money repeatedly convincing followers that he knew the exact date of the end of the world — September, 1994, May, 2011, October, 2011, March, 2012… The world, however, proved more stubborn than Camping. The world didn’t end; Camping did. We imagine he’s somewhere now predicting the end of the afterlife. Here’s hoping he took our advice and packed a few “It Gets Better” videos.
Not that making predictions is easy. We know that firsthand. We make lots of predictions! Sometimes we’re right, sometimes we’re not.
Last year, we were wrong in predicting that Pope Benedict’s 2nd tweet would be about an awesome sale at Dress Barn. Seemed like a slam-dunk to us, but, surprisingly, instead, Benedict resigned and left us with the (so far, Christian-like Christian) Pope Francis. We don’t think we’re alone in saying that we didn’t see that one coming.
But, in other news, we were right in predicting that State’s attempts to make “Texts from John Kerry” an Internet meme would be a total fail. And that even Mitt Romney wouldn’t remember who ran against Obama in 2012.
So what’s next? What’s going to happen in 2014? It seems like a wide-open field to us, but we’re willing to venture a guess or two.
It’s not going to be easy. 2013 gave us dinosaur-on-woman porn and that slash fiction about Paul Ryan and Aaron Schock in a steamy gay romance. Makes us think that no one really knows what’s going to happen next. How can 2014 top the crazy things that happened in 2013? What do YOU think?
Due to more spam than we can keep up with, we’ve disengaged the comment section that’s usually in this spot. It will be back in a couple weeks – soon as the evil Internet robots have forgotten about the codes that make it work.