The Week in Politics

This week, ordinary Americans demonstrated just how ingenious and valuable they are to national security when a product called “Jihawg Bullets” went viral and sales seemingly skyrocketed for their pink-topped bullets.


The “pattern pending” (those are their words) bullets produced by an ammo manufacturer in Idaho are laced with some kind of pork product, so, of course, when you shoot a Muslim terrorists with one they not only die but go straight to Hell. Because of the pork. Get it?

We’re not sure why people in Idaho think they might ever encounter a Muslim terrorist, and since the manufacturers and presumably the buyers don’t subscribe to the teaching of Mohammed and therefore don’t personally agree that pork sends someone to Hell … and, as long as we’re going there, Muslim scholars don’t think it makes any sense … well, it’s probably best not to think about this too hard.

Go America!