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Poll

Michele’s Too Sexy for Her Skirt

Bachmann_corndog

This Week’s Poll!

Has it ever occurred to you that Minnesota Rep. Michele Bachmann — the woman who thinks God sends earthquakes to shrink the government, who thinks it’s an “interesting coincidence” when flu outbreaks happen under Democratic presidents — has it ever occurred to you that Bachmann may have a void inside her?

Well, it occurred to the author of “Fires of Siberia,” an erotic novel that imagines what would have happened if, while trying to boost her foreign policy credentials during the 2012 presidential campaign, Bachmann’s plane went down somewhere in Siberia, leaving her stranded with a “sexy stranger.”

We’re on board with the notion that Michele Bachmann becoming stranded in Siberia is the kind of thing that fantasy is made of, but the sexy stranger bursts that bubble right on the book jacket:

“He touched the void inside her,” the book’s cover pants, “pollinating her pink flower like a master bee.”

Ewww.  Here we thought that tax cuts for the 1% were the extent of Republican porn.

The author, a poet named Tréy Sager, has changed Bachmann’s name to Danielle Powers. But the press releases make no secret that Powers, a presidential candidate “full of firebrand pluck and red state sex appeal,” is Bachmann. The character even has her own John Wayne/John Wayne Gacy moment.

All of this must be getting Marcus really peeved. Why didn’t anyone tell him about Michele’s void?!

It’s hard to know if basing a sex novel’s character on the malcontent from Minnesota is satire, but it hardly matters – and it kind of makes sense. After all, it’s no secret that conservatives prefer their female representatives to be prettier than average. And, after those rumors of the Sarah Palin look-a-like stripper hired to work at the GOP convention in Tampa, perhaps this is just the next logical step.

So where’s this going? Is this the beginning of a new “GOPorn” literary genre? Should we be bracing for an S/M fantasy about John Boehner titled “50 Shades of Orange”?

Let’s figure this out together. If Sager’s book is a hit, surely there will more of the same. So let’s get him started. All he probably needs is the title. The rest of book will practically write itself!

Take this week’s survey and tell Tréy Sager what titles YOU want to see lining the bookstore shelf next!

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