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Poll

Extremist Makeover

extremist makeover

This Week’s Poll!

Much to the surprise of all those folks whose tinfoil hats only receive transmissions from FOX News, Barack Obama has been sworn in for a second term. And while the GOP holds a majority in the House, the statisticians tell us that, thanks to gerrymandering, more people voted for Democrats to fill those seats in spite of the outcome.

So it shouldn’t be a surprise that – according to a new Wall Street Journal poll –  both Congress and the GOP are ranking pretty low in the Mr. Congeniality pageant.

Right now, only 26% of adult Americans have a positive view of the Republican Party (compared to 44% for the Dems) and for Congress it’s even worse: only 14% are pointing up their thumbs. But it turns out that there’s something out there that people dislike even more.

No, not cockroaches. Cockroaches — along with traffic jams, used car salesmen and Genghis Khan — are doing quite fine when held in comparison to Congress. No, we’re talking about something that people see as even more revolting: the Tea Party!

Since 2010, self-identified Tea Party members have dropped from 24% of the electorate to just 8%. Suddenly realizing an urgent need for a makeover, the South Florida Tea Party announced this week that it’s changing its name to the “National Liberty Foundation” — all to distance itself from a the Tea Party brand. A brand that even the Palm Beach County Tea Party said was infused with too much “negative information” and laced with too many “racist, crazy” connotations.

Gosh, it just seems so darned unfair that a racist and crazy organization should be burdened with a racist and crazy reputation.

But history tells us that this kind of simple renaming isn’t enough to really overhaul an image. Take the infamous Blackwater organization. The brains behind it changed its name to Xe, and then Academi, all with the continuing hope of distancing itself from its human rights abuses. But it never managed to shake its evil reputation. Why? It’s not because they never stopped being evil. It’s because they never came up with a catchy motto like “What’s in your wallet?” or “15 minutes could save you 15%.” That’s why!

So let that be a lesson to the Tea Party. What they need isn’t a name change – there’s already enough lipstick on those pigs. What they need is a tag line! Why shed all those years of carefully built brand recognition? Just get a catchphrase! It’s worked for dozens of evil corporations. Why shouldn’t it work again? So let’s give them a helping hand. What do YOU think? What should be the “new, improved” Tea Party’s tag line?

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Another money saving tip from Lester & Charlie: Make Your Own Light Beer!

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