This Week’s Poll!
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North Korea’s dictator and resident mascot Kim Jong-Un inherited a country — as well as a really terrible, horrible, no good, very bad reputation — from his recently deceased father, Kim Jong-Il. (Or as GW Bush would say, Kim Jong the Second.) And last week, to the amazement of the international community, Mr. Kim’s political prisoners and the Disney Corporation, he began a bizarre campaign to show a lighter and more populist side.
First, he embraced the West (kind of) by staging a theatrical extravaganza with actors dressed in unlicensed costumes that looked exactly like Mickey Mouse and Winnie the Pooh. Then he expressed a hint of sexuality by appearing with a mystery woman who’s causing a media sensation. (No one knows who she is! Could be his sister, wife, girlfriend or even his fag-hag, but at least he’s acknowledging that women exist). Then he gave a 20-minute speech about absolutely nothing – but it was exactly 19 minutes and 30 seconds longer than anything his father ever said publicly. Really, ever.
Meanwhile, here in the US, our dictator wannabe and own Thurston Howell III Mitt Romney has been alienating so many people across the country that he might need to take a page from Mr. Kim’s PR playbook. Let’s look at the facts: In just one week, Romney hosted a $50,000-per-head fundraiser for wealthy friends who were bold enough to tell reporters from the New York Times that “Common people don’t understand. They’re just not educated.” Then he skipped over to the NAACP where, to a chorus of boos, he stated that, as president, he would immediately repeal “Obamacare” and went so far as to add something along the lines of, “If you people want free stuff, you should vote for the other guy.” To top off the week, an intrepid reporter from the Boston Globe bothered to dig up Bain Capital filings with the S.E.C. that indicate Romney was still President, Chairman and CEO of that large U.S. job-killing operation as late as 2002 – contradicting Romney’s claims over various election cycles that he retired from Bain in 1999 and can’t be held responsible for company’s behavior in the early 2000s.
We all know that Romney is a whole rubber-band ball of contradictions. But it might not be too late! If he’s going to survive this election, he has to go from his current status of “hated” and back to his old status of “unlikable.” Perhaps he should take some cues from the newly populist Kim Jong-Un! We’re not suggesting that he go so far as to trot out cherished Disney characters as spokesanimals without permission (not in USA, Inc., at least) — but maybe there are other ideas. What do YOU think? Is there any way for Romney to revamp his image in a way that doesn’t make him worse than he already is?
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And now, check out the latest edition of the GOP TIME MACHINE:
RACIAL PROFILING 50s STYLE!