This Week’s Poll!

Last week, we told you that teachers in Louisiana were trying to use the supposed existence of the Loch Ness Monster to promote Creationism and undermine Darwin’s theory of evolution. It turns out, however, that the Loch Ness Monster isn’t the only mythical creature making the news these days.

No, the mythical creatures we’re talking about aren’t moderate Republicans. We’re talking about mermaids. In response to inquiries following a show on the Discovery Channel’s Animal Planet, the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration posted an article on its educational website, Ocean Facts, that used “publicly available sources” (like, say, Google?) to assure concerned citizens that mermaids aren’t real.

Apparently, viewers of the Animal Planet show about a fictional mermaid thought they were watching a documentary — and had serious questions about the existence of the mythical half-human/half-fish creatures. “No evidence of aquatic humanoids has ever been found,” assured NOAA (pronounced, without apparent irony, “Noah”), an organization that’s part of the United States Department of Commerce. Aren’t you relieved to know that your government is busy settling pressing matters like these?

Not that we’re against the idea of our government dispelling myths. On the contrary — we’re quite confident that, any day now, they’ll take care of Tea-Party illusions about the effectiveness of trickle-down economics. Until then, however, we at the Lester and Charlie Institute of Forward Thinking are wondering: Are there any other myths you hope your government will dispel? In this age of information overload, there may be more than a few myths out there whose time has passed. So what do YOU think? Tell us!

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