This Week’s Poll!
To the millions of struggling out-of-work Americans: help is on the way!
No, it’s not the GOP in Congress. (Were you surprised?) It’s Hallmark Cards! Since everyone knows that no event — be it a birthday or the death of a loved one — is complete without a pre-printed, pre-digested message penned by one of the thousands of Hallmark employees involved in the “personal expression business,” Hallmark has added cards to send when someone you know loses a job.
In this economy, finding yourself suddenly unemployed can be pretty devastating. Fear not, however, as friends, relatives and acquaintances can now comfort you with cards with cat pictures and captions like, “Is there anywhere I could hack up a hairball, like say, on a former employer’s head?” We already know on whose (Republican) heads we’d like our cats to cough up hairballs, but we’re tired of always talking about Bachmann and Perry.
Are these cards a sign that high unemployment is the new norm? Has Hallmark simply taken a good look at conservatives’ inability to get their heads out of their pocketbooks and decided that cards like these will useful for a long time to come? Perhaps whoever wins the GOP nomination can expect the votes of every employee of Hallmark in 2012. After all, their “sorry for your job loss” cards are selling like flapjacks. And the online card companies Zazzle and Greeting Card Universe have joined the fun and started selling their own layoff cards. Now, at least we know who (besides the GOP hopefuls) this stubbornly grim economy is good for.
So what’s next? Let’s say the Republicans take back the White House in 2012. We already know, through their unusual candor, just what any one of them has planned for the future of this country. So what other Hallmark cards could we expect to see? What do YOU think?
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