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Regrettable

This tag is associated with 81 posts

We’ve Replaced Your Wife With Folgers Crystals

“We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.” ~Albert Einstein Everything indicated that the American divorce rate would drop after the invention of Folgers Crystals. Research indicates, however, that in the early 1960s, when these commercials were introduced, divorce was at its lowest rate of the decade.  Over … Continue reading

Fear, Loathing and the Independent Mind

“It is very nearly impossible to become an educated person in a country so distrustful of the independent mind.” ~Happy Birthday, James A. Baldwin ***

Rick Perry, Bang Bang

  Rick Perry’s brain said yesterday that the recent movie theater massacre pretty much proves that “no gun zones” are a dangerous thing. We wish the victims of the 204 mass shootings (so far this year) could hear that. Heck, for that matter, all the 7,248 people killed by guns since January. And maybe even … Continue reading

Behave, Now, Kids

Zoologists say it takes a snail 33 hours to crawl one mile. And so the race begins. ***

Dildos for Texas

Texas became the 28th state this week in 1845! Happy Anniversary, Texas – the one place where it’s against the law to own too many dildos, but you can vote for as many as you want. BONUS TRACK: Molly Ivins’ Dildo Diaries ***

Christmas with the Conservatives

We looked into our Magic 8 Ball and asked what swell gifts we’re going to miss out on this Christmas — since we don’t have any conservative friends who will give us any. Here’s what we saw. ***

Are You About to Get Dumped by a Liberal Friend?

The Pew Research Center has an interesting question for you: Are you becoming less popular? Are your friends dropping you? Maybe you’ve Facebooked one too many videos of your three-legged cat meowing “I love you” in Siamese. Maybe the cost of Christmas cards went up, and your friends are eager to trim their lists. Or … Continue reading

The Week in Politics

WAITING FOR THE THIRD DOT Everything you need to know about last week’s politics for this week’s cocktail party. They say it takes “three points on a graph” to spot a trend. For example, if you spent $2 for a beer yesterday and $5 on a beer today and put that on a graph, it … Continue reading

4 Dead in Urban Outfitters

This week was all about the apology. It wasn’t just that the New York Times had to apologize for mistakenly referring to Dick Cheney as the former president of the United States. Apologies abounded! Like the one from Jacob Dorsey, the 19-year-old Republican candidate for the Wisconsin Assembly, who not only apologized but dropped out … Continue reading

The Week in Politics

LET’S GET REAL Everything you need to know about last week’s politics for this week’s cocktail party. Last week, Congress voted to sue the president because the president delayed a law — one that Congress hated and voted down a zillion times. Eric Cantor decided he had to leave Congress ASAP because he doesn’t do … Continue reading

The Week in Politics

THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS   Everything you need to know about last week’s politics for this week’s cocktail party. Sure, a lot humorless things were going on last week. But let’s focus on something funny. Specifically, the growing shortlist of exciting personalities who might be eyeballing the 2016 presidential election. First, halfwit and part-time governor … Continue reading

The Week in Politics

CRIME AND PUNISHMENT Everything you need to know about last week’s politics for this week’s cocktail party. More evidence came in this week that guns are a man’s best friend. On June 12th, a man from the alternate universe known as Macon, Georgia was at a gas station when he decided he ought to holster … Continue reading

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