“I can’t give you a brain, but I can give you a diploma.”
~L. Frank Baum, 1856-1919
Posts Tagged ‘People’
Happy Birthday, L. Frank Baum
In Study Break on May 15, 2013 at 6:25 amThe Week in Politics
In Study Break on April 27, 2013 at 10:50 amAbout 26 years after this historic White House moment:
Presidential wife, mother and canine ghostwriter Barbara Bush finally said what everyone in America was thinking:
Where are We Going? And Why am I in This Handbasket?
In Poll on April 19, 2013 at 1:28 pmQuick Programming Note:
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Click here: Please Stand By
Now, This Week’s Poll!
It was heartening to see so many in the media rush to point out that, in the immediate aftermath of the horrific explosions at the Boston Marathon last Monday, so many people — runners, cops, spectators — rushed toward the chaos to help the injured, despite knowing that anything could happen next.
We’re gripping tightly to the thought that so many people didn’t hesitate to help, given what so many right-wing lunatics were rushing to do instead. It took only minutes for the first conservative conspiracy theories to start pinballing around the Internet. Too many conservatives are twisted enough to take any tragedy — from Boston to Newtown to Aurora — and turn it into an opportunity to prance.
Was there a Facebook page set up to memorialize the victims two days before the explosions went off? Is Obama behind this? Family Guy? Unbelievably, the first question Massachusetts Governor Deval Patrick received at the news conference after the attack was “Was this another false flag staged attack to take our civil liberties?” (Note the clever use of the word “another” in that question, presupposing that there have been others.) The governor was quick to respond with a terse “No.” We agree with Rex Huppke, writing in the Chicago Tribune, who gave the governor credit for restraint for not answering, “No, you idiot.” We can think of a few other impolite words Patrick could have said.
And it wasn’t just the conspiracies that were turning our stomachs. A FOX News guest, Erik Rush, helpfully tweeted — before the FBI even had any suspects — that Muslims were “evil” and we should “kill them all.” A Wall Street Journalist tore Obama apart for daring to make a statement instead of parroting John Boehner’s “moment of silence.” (Though we’ll admit it’s helpful whenever Boehner decides to shut up.)
Patrick Dollard, a contributor to Breitbart News, wasted no time tweeting his claim that “GEORGE BUSH KEPT US SAFE FOR 8 YEARS.” Who is he blaming that whole “Bin Laden Determined to Strike in the US” memo fiasco on? Jimmy Carter?
We suppose, given what happened after Newtown and what happened after Aurora (and countless other tragedies), that we really shouldn’t be surprised. And social media and the 24-hour news cycle are just making things worse.
Or was it always like this, and we just weren’t paying attention? Let’s take a quick trip into the recent and not-so-recent past and try to figure out: What conservative conspiracies have we missed over the years? What do YOU think?
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NEW Video From Lester & Charlie’s “Do It At Home, America!” Series: Make Your Choking Poster!
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Attack of the Cookie Monsters!
In Poll on March 17, 2013 at 12:29 pmQuick Programming Note:
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Now, This Week’s Poll!
We’ve been wondering: Is there anyone out there that the GOP doesn’t hate?
Don’t get us wrong. You don’t have to have a conservative black-and-white view of the world to get a thrill out of cheering heroes and hissing villains. We all enjoy a character we can love to despise! But, with a whopping 36% of Republicans now saying that it’s the people in their own party who are the bad guys, it’s getting awfully hard for conservatives to know who to hiss at.
So they’re getting desperate, even looking back in history. Why else would they be trotting out hippies — yes, hippies! — as the latest examples of evil incarnate? That’s what they’re doing in Bobby Jindal’s Louisiana, where a voucher school is now using an 8th grade “history” book titled “America: Land I Love” to teach kids that “hippies” are really dirty, ragged Satanists! (Check out the link; we’re not exaggerating.)
Just when it started to look like the GOP had run out of contemporary suspects to demonize (union workers, welfare queens, people who don’t like their kids getting shot), along comes Linda Harvey, founder of the Ohio-based Christian Organization Mission:America, to remind us: Everything can be blamed on the gays!
Last Tuesday, Harvey denounced the venerable Girls Scouts of America for promoting lesbianism by featuring homosexuals in their materials, using “radical feminists” as role models, and just overall man-hating! “Unless you have an attitude of suspicion toward males in general,” Harvey accused the GSA of teaching girls, “unless you bring home a paycheck and unless you have a worldview based on self-indulgence with never a notion of sacrifice, you as a woman are really diminished in worth.” Listen up, girls. Linda Harvey wants you to know your place.
Though the GSA angle may be new, Harvey has been obsessed with homosexuality for some time. She previously called gay rights advocates “fascists” and “masters of demonic manipulation,” called the Obama administration’s efforts to promote equal rights a “humanitarian disgrace” and even called the It Gets Better video series — the series that reaches out to young gay kids to tell them that life probably won’t suck forever — wrong, evil and dark. She’s so obsessed with homosexuality that the Southern Poverty Law Center went as far as to designate Mission:America as an active hate group a year ago. But Harvey’s not likely to let it go. We gotta wonder what happened to her as a kid to make her hate homosexuals this much. Did she once have a crush on Rock Hudson?
Well, we decided to have a little fun at Linda Harvey’s expense. Since she’s bound to see a radical gay conspiracy behind almost anything, we’re wondering what will make her explode next. What do YOU think? Tell us!
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From Lester & Charlie’s “GOP Time Machine” Series: Truth in Advertising!
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The Week in Politics
In Study Break on March 8, 2013 at 6:14 pmThis week, intrepid Republican voting auditors scored an “I told you so!” after catching Minnesota resident and suspected Obama supporter Margaret Schneider in a voting fraud scheme.
The face of fraud
86-year-old Schneider, who suffers from both Parkinson’s and dementia, admits that she probably did send in an absentee ballot several weeks prior to casting a vote in person during the 2012 primary! She faces up to 5 years in prison and a $10,000 fine.
The Week in Politics
In Study Break on February 9, 2013 at 5:36 pm“I put my heart and my soul into my work, and have lost my mind in the process.”
~Vincent Van Gogh
This week, the Bush family emails were hacked!
And if a family that ran the CIA, spent 20 years with an office in the White House, produced a governor of Florida and have Dick Cheney‘s number on speed dial can’t remember to change their Hotmail passwords now and then, maybe they got what’s coming to them.
Unfortunately, the email hacker didn’t find any information whatsoever that would help make sense of the Bush family’s years in government or even tell us where the Bush Twins’ favorite happy hour is.
But it did show us what America’s newest self-portrait artist, George W., has been up to!
Happy Birthday, Rosa Parks
In Study Break on February 4, 2013 at 12:01 am
“Memories of our lives, of our works and our deeds will continue in others.”
~Rosa Parks
The Week in Politics
In Study Break on February 2, 2013 at 9:44 am
Former New York City Mayor Ed Koch passed away this week. Like Central Park or Grand Central, he was sometimes loved, sometimes hated, alternately amusing and infuriating — but always a central part of the City.
“I don’t want to leave Manhattan, even when I’m gone. This is my home. The thought of having to go to New Jersey is so distressing to me.”
~Ed Koch
Extremist Makeover
In Poll on January 24, 2013 at 12:49 pm
This Week’s Poll!
Much to the surprise of all those folks whose tinfoil hats only receive transmissions from FOX News, Barack Obama has been sworn in for a second term. And while the GOP holds a majority in the House, the statisticians tell us that, thanks to gerrymandering, more people voted for Democrats to fill those seats in spite of the outcome.
So it shouldn’t be a surprise that – according to a new Wall Street Journal poll – both Congress and the GOP are ranking pretty low in the Mr. Congeniality pageant.
Right now, only 26% of adult Americans have a positive view of the Republican Party (compared to 44% for the Dems) and for Congress it’s even worse: only 14% are pointing up their thumbs. But it turns out that there’s something out there that people dislike even more.
No, not cockroaches. Cockroaches — along with traffic jams, used car salesmen and Genghis Khan — are doing quite fine when held in comparison to Congress. No, we’re talking about something that people see as even more revolting: the Tea Party!
Since 2010, self-identified Tea Party members have dropped from 24% of the electorate to just 8%. Suddenly realizing an urgent need for a makeover, the South Florida Tea Party announced this week that it’s changing its name to the “National Liberty Foundation” — all to distance itself from a the Tea Party brand. A brand that even the Palm Beach County Tea Party said was infused with too much “negative information” and laced with too many “racist, crazy” connotations.
Gosh, it just seems so darned unfair that a racist and crazy organization should be burdened with a racist and crazy reputation.
But history tells us that this kind of simple renaming isn’t enough to really overhaul an image. Take the infamous Blackwater organization. The brains behind it changed its name to Xe, and then Academi, all with the continuing hope of distancing itself from its human rights abuses. But it never managed to shake its evil reputation. Why? It’s not because they never stopped being evil. It’s because they never came up with a catchy motto like “What’s in your wallet?” or “15 minutes could save you 15%.” That’s why!
So let that be a lesson to the Tea Party. What they need isn’t a name change – there’s already enough lipstick on those pigs. What they need is a tag line! Why shed all those years of carefully built brand recognition? Just get a catchphrase! It’s worked for dozens of evil corporations. Why shouldn’t it work again? So let’s give them a helping hand. What do YOU think? What should be the “new, improved” Tea Party’s tag line?
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Another money saving tip from Lester & Charlie: Make Your Own Light Beer!
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The Week in Politics
In Study Break on January 12, 2013 at 12:24 pmA carpool lane is for two or more persons per vehicle. The definition of person in California’s Vehicle Code is a “natural person, firm, co-partnership, association, limited liability company, or corporation.”
So when Jonathan Frieman of San Rafael, Calif., was pulled over for driving alone in a carpool lane, he argued to the officer that, actually, he did have a passenger – namely, the certificate of incorporation sitting in the passenger seat.
Mr. Frieman hopes to use his traffic violation to overturn Citizens United. Flesh and blood humans wish him luck.
