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Have you ever secretly wanted to be a fly on the wall at a GOP fundraiser? No? Why not? Liberal infiltration at private events is what got us Mitt Romney’s infamous comments about the “47%” and, more recently, Republican Congresswoman Renee Ellmers’ comments that Republicans can reach those elusive lady voters as soon as they bring the issues “down to a woman’s level.” Whatever that means.

We’d rather stay at home and watch twisted reruns of Ozzie and Harriet than spend precious hours in a room full of people who agree that the biblical Great Flood shows how overdeveloped hydrocarbon energy has nothing to do with climate change.

But we’re eternally grateful to the brave men and women who endure these events and tell the rest of us what Republicans really say when they think we can’t hear.

Which is probably why Barbara Bush was clutching her last pearl when the blood-sucking characters on HBO’s “True Blood” did just that — infiltrate a Ted Cruz fundraiser!

Conceding that it’s hard to sneak into a (fictional) private GOP event at the George W. Presidential Library – because only “assholes” are invited – the “True Blood” characters nevertheless managed to crash one. How? By convincingly disguising themselves as — this is the actual term they use — “Republic*nts.” (Which almost rhymes with Republinuts.)

Cruz responded to the “True Blood” episode via Facebook. Now, we’re a little surprised that Ted Cruz has HBO and can actually boot up a computer. But his reaction was that he was “astonished.” He called the storyline “misogynist and profanity-ridden.” He managed to inject some humor, however, in spite of his astonishment, saying he was sorry to have lost the vampire vote. But he was amused that “HBO is suggesting that hard-core leftists are blood-sucking fiends” and that it hardly matters since “the dead tend to vote overwhelmingly for Dems.”

Let’s be fair. Cruz has a point — not about dead people voting Democratic, but about the relative gracelessness of the episode.

And that’s too bad, because we see no reason whatsoever for all of our favorite TV shows NOT to take swipes at the GOP.

It set our minds a-whirlin’, wondering what awesome opportunities have been missed on television. Poking fun at conservatives shouldn’t be limited to SNL and Jon Stewart — ALL our favorite shows can get in on the fun! And no one has to resort to throwing around words like “Republic*nt” to get in a good jab; the scope of GOP craziness is too broad for that.

So let’s get clever! Tell us: How do YOU want to see your favorite TV show skewer the GOP?

 

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