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Give me your tired, your poor… or maybe just your Euros and Yen.

For the first time ever, the United States of America is embarking on an overseas advertising campaign to draw foreign tourists.

Britain’s Daily Mail reports that — with tourist numbers falling — America has launched a series of print, web and video advertisements to lure visitors from Canada, Japan and the UK (with a rollout in Brazil and South Korea coming soon).  Come gawk and marvel at our spacious skies! Our purple mountain majesties! And both of those excellent shining seas. Don’t just sit over there in your country watching Mad Men and Glee. Come see what we got in the flesh!

The campaign has even enlisted good ol’ Roseanne Cash to sing a rousing song called “Land of Dreams,” and features gorgeous shots of New Orleans, New York and California (just to name a few) — and a cast of characters that includes everything from traditionally dressed Muslim women to a gay male couple snuggling on a bus. America, apparently, really does have it all. So where’s the traffic?

Tourism across the globe has actually been increasing. But fewer of those tourists are coming to the US. We can’t imagine why. We’re still home to the Grand Canyon, the French Quarter, Yellowstone and over 18,000 McDonald’s outlets. What’s not to love? We suppose it’s possible that our hyper-invasive post-9/11 airport security measures (not to mention things like the 180-day wait for a visa for a potential tourist from places like China) might have an effect on tourism, but, hey, why fix the obvious when you can run an expensive global ad campaign instead? This is America, after all!

Will this work? America needs tourists, but current slogans like “Come and find your land of dreams” and “Discover this land like never before” just aren’t, in our opinion, provocative enough to attract anyone. Which means that the land of the free needs your help! What do YOU think would be an excellent tourism slogan for the richest country in the world?

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And now, check out this week’s featured video from the GOP TIME MACHINE:

A GUN IN EVERY TOY BOX!

One thought on “Coming to America!

  1. Pingback: Coming to America! « Ishtarmuz's Blog

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